So here is a sad twist.
I finally went on a date with someone this past weekend, and we had a good time. He was a gentleman and sweet, and things were good. I’ve got the whole intimacy issues thing but he managed to go in for the kill and we kissed… a lot.
I thought everything was going well! He was talking about going ice skating and seeing movies together!
This morning I wake up to a text essentially dumping me (I know it was one date, but there was the implicit promise of more!).
So yeah. Dumped.
The reason why?
My religion.
Ouch. Never saw that one coming.
This guy is a super devout Christian and through a strange twist of fate our religious choices entered the scene over dinner. I don’t feel like writing all the details, but he seemed fine with me being Pagan after I explained to him what it was. He even asked if I was ok with him being Christian… weird.
I thought he was ok with everything (the many many kisses and tender touches didn’t state otherwise!) but I guess he wasn’t.
I wasn’t super hot for him, just enough to be ok with a second date to see where things go, so this isn’t a huge loss. If I look on the bright side it was at least nice to be kissed by someone, and also find out early on that it wouldn’t work, rather than investing more emotions and time into things.
But it still hurts. I thought I had finally become normal, but I guess not. 🙁
7 responses to “Religulous Dating”
You do realize there's nothing wrong with you at all, and there's nothing you could have done differently with this guy, or that you should have done differently? He was the coward in not being able to say it upfront that religion is a deal breaker for him, and he's a douche for coming on to you knowing that he wouldn't be able to deal with the religion issue! You are awesome – just stay positive, and someday a better, and more right for you, man will come along! 🙂
Aw I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out with him, but it doesn't mean you're not hnormal! These things happen in every relationship. It doesn't make sense he led you on like that, if he knew at dinner, but like you said, it was only one date so better you find out now anyway.
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I am going to go further and say…welcome to the world of dating!
This IS the norm when it comes to dating…you're just sussing things out, having a kiss or two (or not) and what we as women don't do anymore is date many men at the same time (and we need to in order to know what we like/will tolerate/can't stand). Chalk it up to the fact that he just isn't the right guy…there are many more out there! 🙂
I'm sure it's not news, but guys will say anything to get themselves into or out of any situation (ESPECIALLY on first dates) and until they've proven otherwise, definitely only go on dates for fun…no commitment, no relationship, no promises of anything except for a good night out. (no sex obvs until you've decided which gentleman you'd like an actual relationship with)
Now get back out there!!
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I agree with the other commenters. You are normal, it's the dating experience itself that is crazy. It sounds like the guy was a bit of a jerk in this case, he led you on when he shouldn't have. It doesn't matter if religion was the real reason why he doesn't see a future between you two, what he did was dishonest and wrong. I hope this doesn't scare you off from dating, you'll meet someone awesome that you click with, it just may take some… interesting… experiences before you do!
Seriously! If he was that upset over it he shouldn't have continued the date etc. There's nothing wrong with you — this guy's just a twat
religion can be a big problem in relationships, which is ashame. I would try waiting until later into dating to talk about religion so there is more time to bring up other things that define you, other than just that one aspect.
-Ben
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That really sucks! I'm sorry he had to be like that. Don't let it get you down. 🙂
-Jen
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