Ok, so I started writing a big post on where I’ve been these past few months but it degenerated into a pity party and got far too wordy.

Basically I stopped writing because I lost the motivation as my life underwent some big changes.

It’s no secret I hated my job, I was becoming increasingly unhappy there. I finally snapped after a ridiculous “review” at work and went on short term disability, or “medical leave” at the end of July. Getting all the paperwork and everything set up so I could receive my benefits was a bit of a nightmare. Thank goodness I don’t bite my nails anymore or I wouldn’t have any!

So I found myself on leave, dealing with depression and an anxiety disorder and a total lack of direction in my life. I’ve fought depression before but it’s not any easier the second time you go through it. It’s especially hard when you’re home alone everyday with no urge to get out of bed or feed yourself. Yeah, it got bad.

I tried to keep going, occupying myself with hobbies, visiting my family and occasional visits with friends when I could manage it. In between I would stress about what I would do about the job situation– I had been looking for a new job since March with no luck. Summer is an awful time to look.

I knew I couldn’t go back to my old job (hell, they had replaced me only a week after I left!) but I didn’t know how long the benefits would last. Every couple of weeks I would have my doctor apply for an extension and go through a big song and dance to convince them of my level of depression. It was not fun. I hate being weak, needing to depend on others for anything. I felt like a fraud even though I really DID deserve those benefits.

Anyway, there was a lot of doom and gloom these past few months. Struggling with loneliness and depression took a lot of effort. Everything took a lot of effort, actually.

But it wasn’t all bad. I had some good times with my friends; several canning parties with Ellie Di and friends, a day trip to Wasaga Beach with others and many other small get togethers. The main difference I think with depression this time around is that I have mature friends, people actually willing to spend time with me. That makes a huge difference and I am so thankful.

Another point of note is the “exchanging of the cats”. You all remember my dear cat Sheba? Unfortunately I had to give her away. Her behavioural problems were too much for me to handle and it was wearing on my sanity. I took her to the vet and he said there wasn’t really anything I could do considering my experience and financial restraints.

So I took her home to my parents and we lived there for a month while my mom took over the job of searching for a new home for her. Luckily we did find a woman with experience with troubled cats who wanted to take Sheba in. She’s now living in a better home than I could give her. I still miss her though.

After a few weeks I decided I was ready for another cat. I felt bad about Sheba (though I know she’s doing well now) but still needed the comfort and companionship of a pet in my life. They really ARE good for you!

So I went to the local shelter and looked at some cats. A friend of mine is a volunteer there and matched me with a few that fit my requirements (low-maintenance, friendly, etc.).

Enter: Luna!

Luna is about 3 years old and was found as a stray. She’s mostly black, but has a white “moon” on her lower belly. Very cute! I didn’t choose the name Luna, but she came to it when called and it seemed to fit her, so I left it.

I’ve had her about a month and so far things are going well. She’s affectionate and sweet, uses the litterbox properly and doesn’t howl at all hours of the day. It’s been great having a cat to come home to again and I think she will be a great part of my life.

After I got Luna, I moved back to Toronto and tried to make things work better here. I kept searching for a job (any job!) and trying to figure out what to do with my life.

I’ve talked about how I really want to run my own business. Well, my parents have stepped up to the plate and offered to pay for some additional schooling for me. I am now taking some online college courses specializing in entrepreneurship studies. The idea is that I will find a new job and do these courses part time, then begin the process of opening my own business.

And now about the job:

I finally got one!!!!!

After a series of interviews and a one-month lag between meetings I accepted an offer with a boutique agency just last week. I also resigned from my old company (damn, that felt good!). I’ll be starting work in a couple of weeks and I’m totally stoked about it. It seems like this place will be different from anything I’ve done before. They’ve warned me that it’s going to be overwhelming in the beginning, but knowing that, I feel prepared.

It’s a good move for me; I will be using a lot more of my skills, becoming more involved with the industry (until I leave it, that is!), have a much higher salary and better title, and 3 weeks vacation! w00t!

Before I continue I want to say thank you to all of you who reached out to me with support, guidance and sometimes even job postings (!!!) in response to my situation. That made me feel great, knowing that others cared about me, and also that the world is not such a dark place!

While I still have a long road to travel in terms of dealing with depression, I feel like I’ve made some great headway at this point. I hope that with the new job and some direction in my life that things will get progressively better. Plus, I’m taking meds, yo.

So I think that sums up the major points of my story. There are other things I would like to post about in more detail (yes, the canning, Ellie!) so I’ll try to pump those out over the next few weeks, and keep things spicy around here!

So, what did I miss? Fill me in!