I think I might have to kick my roommate out.
She hasn’t paid for February rent yet and it’s almost March. How is she going to come up with 2 rent payments for the end of the week if she can’t even make one?
I am just so tired of this. I can’t even call her to ask her to come home to talk because her phone has been cut off. So I’m sitting here waiting for her to come home (if she does at all) when I’d rather be in bed.
I know that she’s having trouble finding a job and making money, and that she’s working on it. But seriously, every couple of months there is some kind of financial issue with her. She owes ME money for our internet bill, too. Am I just supposed to eat that?
If I ask her to move out though, I am afraid she’ll piss off and leave me with the other half of Feb & Mar rent to make up, and that would be a few thousand dollars! I can’t afford that! I called my dad because I was so frustrated about this. He said he would lend me the cash if it came to that… but I really hate borrowing money.
“Never a borrower nor a lender be”
That’s one of our family sayings, and we believe in it deeply. Lately I’ve been finding myself as a lender to friends…
It’s like I’m the Bank of Ginger!
Don’t have any cash but still want to go out? Ask G to spot you a few bucks. Get her to pay your cover and tip the waitress while you’re at it!
I love my friends but this bothers me sometimes. I am the only one that has a solid grip on her finances and they know it, so they feel like it’s ok to ask me for money.
It’s not ok! I make the same or less amount of money than them! Just because I handle my finances better doesn’t mean I can pass out free money! Ugh. I offer to help them get themselves on the right track but I don’t know if it will ever work.
I am just pissed about money lately. I’m still making the same amount I started with over 2 years ago at this job. Fucking economy. Now I’m worried that my roommate is going to default on everything and I’ll be stuck holding the bill.
I don’t understand why she hasn’t moved out before this??? She can’t even feed herself regularly! Wouldn’t you take that as a sign that you’re living beyond your means?
Gah. Don’t tell me I should get my own place because I can’t. I just can’t afford it AND a decent life at the same time, otherwise I would be out of here like a bat out of hell.
Sometimes I hate being the most responsible one. It seems like everyone else is off having a great time while I worry about things and pick up the slack.
10 responses to “Bane=Roommate”
Maybe you can email her or write her a letter if you can't seem to sit down and talk with her?
Most importantly, don't show your anger. Stay cool & calm. State your case. Remind her that you're not made of money and she isn't being a good roommate to you. You understand that she's in financial woes but because she isn't doing her part, she's forcing you to be in financial woes too. Then try to talk about arrangements and possibilities.
Good luck!
DUDE. That sucks. Seriously!! Are both of you by any chance on the rental agreement? Because in that case, can't you let your landlord handle it? I wish I had an answer for you. 🙁 This situation sucks and I'd be just as pissed as you are. Maybe you really should think about giving her notice…especially if it's an ongoing thing?
I'm not sure of your living situation but if her name is on the lease, you might be able to call your landlord about it.
I wrote her a note in our notebook mentioning how much she owes and when she needs to pay it. Also mentioned that the landlord jumped on me about it yesterday and that I'm nervous and that we need to talk.
There is no rental agreement or lease. We pay cash every month which normally is a good thing, but in this case I'm not sure. Our landlord sees us the same as if we were a married couple. If my roommate doesn't pay her half of the rent then I am responsible for it.
I really just need to talk with her. I know she is trying, but once she is paid up for Feb & Mar. I'm considering giving her notice or encouraging her to look for a cheaper place to live–it doesn't make sense for her to be here, and I really need a roommate who is financially stable and dependable. I can't go through this drama every few months.
A fine pickle you are in. I like the suggestions above, but what it comes down to is you have to put your foot down and be firm about it. Not just to your roommate but to your friends as well. Simply stating, "I'm on a budget, and while I want to spend time with you, I can't afford to pay for you too – it's not in my budget." may help you – it takes practice though.
A tiny word also comes to mind, though it is difficult to use and stick to and difficult for people to hear… N…O… no. If your friends can't afford to be where you are going, then perhaps a change of venue is appropriate. It's hard. I know. But after the third time of you saying it, it should start to stick.
Chin up – you will get through this!
That's brutal! I would so freaking irritated. I hate roommates! I hope she pays up and goes away. Errrrrrrr!!!
About your friends, as Finding Your Way said, learning to say no is hard but necessarily. Going waaaaay back to high school, I was making more money than most of my from teaching piano lessons and babysitting. I always got stuck paying more for stuff because my friends figured I had the money to spend. I subtly stopped paying more; I left extra money at home, (this is the days before debit cards were ubiquitous), I wouldn't "float" anyone anymore, and they slowly learned that I wasn't a bank. Good luck-it's not a fun battle.
It sounds like a tough spot, doll. But you're strong enough to put your foot down, and that's the most important part. A lot of people (like me) have a problem with confrontation to the point that they'd just say nothing. I'm glad you're doing something about it, even if it's a shitty situation. And I think that it wouldn't be a bad idea to tell her to go even if she does come up with the backrent. This isn't the kind of thing you can keep up. It's dangerous! I'll help you look a new apartment if you want some help. <3
That really is annoying
The only good thing in all of this is that you are going to NOT eat cat food in retirement.
I agree with Ellie Di — put your foot down and tell those moochers: NO WAY SUCKA!!
This is why I basically don't talk about my money with my friends nor do I want to know about their finances. It's a non-issue with us because it never comes up.
Oh hun, I feel you. I've had SO many terrible flatmates, and sounds like the market is the same – it's basically impossible to afford a one bedroom place alone here (and still damn difficult even as a couple!)
All my flatmates would rather waste their money on booze and crap rather than food or utilities. It's okay as long as the rent gets paid, but apparently our head flatmate hasn't managed to get the rent out for the last two weeks. Thank God we're moving soon…
I have friends who do the same thing and totally try to take advantage of me: financially, bumming rides, just general fairweather "friends"/people who call only when they need something. Frustrating. Why is saying NO so hard?