My heart is still heavy from the news. I feel physically ill and I’m sure my crying jag didn’t help last night. My eyes are still sore and puffy despite a liberal application of Garnier’s Anti-puff eye roller.
I know it may not be a big deal to some people. But for me it cuts deep. I am thankful that I didn’t make a fool of myself in any way, or proceed too far with anything, but it still hurts. I feel like I’ve been duped.
All my life I have been alone. I thought this might be different. It felt different. I guess it’s not really his fault he’s got someone already, so I’m not really mad at him.
I’m more upset with myself for misreading everything, over analyzing and getting my hopes up. If there’s one thing life has taught me thus far it’s that I should never, ever get my hopes up for anything. Each time I have they end up being crushed.
I feel like an outcast. Why aren’t there any men that like me? (And those that say they do… why can’t I just lower my standards and like them back?) I’m seriously puzzled. Why is it so hard for me to take action and get what I want in these situations (oh wait that’s right. Shit like this always happens. Or they’re gay. Or I get rejected.)
I’m successful at a lot of things in life; but this are has just been one giant failure. No matter how much I pray, how many self-help books I read, dating sites I’m on and how many friends I enlist for advice, I’m afraid that I am just destined to be alone.
This isn’t just about Mr. Darcy. It’s about the greatest failure in my life.
:*o(
15 responses to “The Day After”
Wow….I feel the same way that you do…..and one of my friends told me I need to lower my standards. Sigh.
🙁 I feel for you.
Maybe it's time to start liking someone who does like you. And actively work on losing weight.
He has a girlfriend… but that doesn't mean that sometime in the future you guys can't be together, right? You're really into each other, I'm assuming (I haven't read your secret post), and maybe that means that he's not so into his gf.
I'm not advocating being a homewrecker, but I am advocating being a friend to this guy, and then seeing how things play out.
But anyway, I'm sorry you're sad!! 🙁 I have other friends who feel they're "destined to be alone"… and it's just not true. You will find someone! 🙂
Like I said before, I stink at comfort, but here goes:
I know that such repeated "failure" is disheartening and I can definitely see how you can despair of your ability to beat your loneliness. But you have to refuse to let the lack of a partner undermine your happiness. While people certainly feel that terrible and wonderful drive to engage in relationships, it should be an extension of your life, your happiness, yourself – not the meaning and center of those things.
You're a fantastic wondergirl. I know things look dark, but I think you're just focusing on the darkness in the past. If you look to the future, hold your head up high, and remember to focus on being awesome, your own personal light will keep the future bright.
<3
Okay, you're a kung fu fighta' and someone has the NERVE to jump on you about weight at a juncture like this?
My response to that kind of trolling is generally: Emerald, if you think you're so much hotter, why don't YOU show what YOU are made of. Otherwise, your crass comment is nothing but the sad bleats one finds in the ranks of internet trolls and losers.
As for the boy troubles, G-doll: it sounds like the universe rearranging itself, because no-one's come along, yet, who's worthy of you. I know it sucks and it feels all dark and dreary right now, but that kind of wonderful love-thing happens when you least expect it, and when you aren't looking.
Self-help, websites, and blind dates (it seems) keep you focused on what's wrong with your love life instead of what's right. You have freedom, opportunity, and the ability to experience. That can be a great blessing and a lot of fun.
The sexiest thing you've got is being happy and loving who you are, and where your life has taken you. Chin up, hot stuff! Slap on a cute dress and some hot shoes, and drag a girl-friend out on the town for a night of dancing to forget all this ever happened.
Well that anon comment is just silly.
The most interesting thing to me is how you said that there are people who like you & you don't like them back. That was the story of my life until I met Chad – I never found someone where it was mutual. So the problem isn't your personal failure – it's about finding that mutual attraction.
And for what it's worth, I'm sure you will find it.
*heartsnhugs* I am so sorry hun. 🙁
🙁
Okay, Ginger… I am going to tell you something that I wish someone once told me:
YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL, SUCCESSFUL, BRILLANT YOUNG WOMAN.
With OR without a man in your life, you are STILL ALL those things and MORE. You are NOT an outcast. You do not need someone to define you. If you find someone along your way, that's great. I'd be thrilled for you. But I want you to know.. to understand that you are a person who should be happy either way. With or without someone. Not having a significant other? That's not a failure. You have not failed.
hang in there.. dont lose hope. u're awesome, inside out.
Double 🙁
*hugs* I heart you.
I know exactly how you feel! 🙁 🙁 🙁 It's the worst possible feeling when you get your hopes up for nothing and you completely misread what's happening. Don't worry though — there's someone perfect out there for you and you WILL meet him. You absolutely will 🙂
Ginger I'm sorry he is missing out on such a great person, I guess my only advise would be to move on and find someone who appreciates you for who you are. I know there is someone out there for you and I know you will find him or he will find you. Good luck!!
I never thought it would happen for me – but it did. It took a long time and I dated a lot of duds along the way. But it did happen and it will happen for you.