Ugh. I am saddened and upset by the new LouLou “collection” for Addition-Elle that they will be unveiling shortly.

I received this in my inbox today:

Looks pretty promising, doesn’t it?

So away I click, excited that there’s going to be a shopping party in my future and in my area! They wouldn’t send me an email otherwise, right? I mean, I DO live in Toronto, basically the centre of the Canadian world. Psha.

To my surprise I am redirected to a page on the LouLou website in which I discover that all the “parties” are happening at locations in the middle of nowhere. Not a single listing for anywhere resembling the GTA. (Edit: Ok there is one in Woodbridge. Woodbridge. It hardly counts as the GTA, especially when the flagship store is in Toronto proper!)

Epic Fail #1.

So I think to myself: “Fine. Maybe they’re giving the less fashionably-fortunate a shot at the parties first. Maybe Toronto will come later” and I surf over to the AE website to see what constitutes this “collection” from LouLou.

I am all for increasing the fashion availabilities for the plus sized market. We want to be fashionable, comfortable and pretty too, you know. We deserve to have nicely made & nicely tailored outfits that we can be confident in. They should be flattering to us, but not 100% black because life is more fun in colour!

When LouLou first paired up with Addition-Elle I was tickled pink. They made us fat people a little digest-size version of LouLou for Fat People magazine. I was so happy to get mine that I actually wrote to the editor of LouLou thanking her (she was nice enough to reply back. +5 for customer satisfaction!).

Anyway…

That email they sent me up there? It looks awesome. I’m totally digging the model’s look, and I have a well-established love of the military look (yes I owned the military look before it even became cool….) So I am expecting to see some really awesome chic & sleek items that most people can wear. Hopefully no more of the crap they’re currently trying to shill (polyester & rayon tents with no lines or even sense to the designs sometimes).

I’m hoping for something comfortable and flattering. Something timeless and classic that you could love. Basically, a decent collection that LouLou would support, the way they support other straight size lines of quality.

What do I get instead?

BEHOLD: The horrors of plus-sized fashion!

EPIC FAIL Infinity+1

Ewwww! My eyes are burning! Not only are these some of the most hideous animal print twill pants I have ever seen, I strongly feel that they should be taken out to the back and put out of their misery.

How can the AE/LouLou designers possibly think these are either a) fashionable or b) flattering? Especially on a larger body. I would shudder to see these on a slim gal, but on a big one? I think my fight or flight response would kick in.

The worst part? They want $90 for them. As if!

Those are arguably the worst part of the collection, but LouLou + AE go on to disappoint further.

Behold:Oh yes. And this beauty is guaranteed to chafe, cling & make you sweat in ways you never imagined with its 90% Polyester, 10% Spandex stylings.

I know the 80’s are coming back, but did they have to break out more shitty animal print PLUS gold chain for this??? Srsly???

I know I’m going to see some naive and misguided women wearing this. I just know it. And as I walk by I will cry on the inside for them, for they know not the crime they commit. I won’t sneer or look away because I don’t want to make them feel bad. They should feel confident in their beauty. But…. *sigh* This is awful.

You can get your own chain print top to sweat and chafe in for only $70! *gag*

Everything else in the “collection” (if you can even call it that!) so far is only slightly less horrid than those two, yet still ho-hum. Nothing to write home about. Except for the jacket. I actually like that one. PRAISE JEEBUS!

I just… have no words. Addition-Elle and LouLou, how could you do so wrong by us big gals? What happened? I had such high expectations (at least of LouLou, Addition-Elle has been in a downward spiral for years) and a blinded hope that one day you would produce beautiful, flattering, comfortable and affordable clothes of value for the big girls of the world.

Instead I get the dog’s breakfast. And an invite to a party that isn’t even happening in my geographic location. Ever heard of geo-targeting?

tsk tsk. I am disappointed in you.