Well, the concert is over. As a concert, it was good. As a night, it took a turn for the worse.
I thought I did everything right… the night was going ok, BB and I were making smalltalk in between songs about random things. Aside from a few awkward silences it seemed like he was having a nice time.
About halfway through I knew that he didn’t really think of me as dating material–he never asked me anything about myself and only talked about his friends and his apartment. But I never figured that he would just get up and practically run away at the end of the concert.
Now that it’s over I can tell you that we went to see Tool. They’re known for not doing encores. However this time you could tell they would, and they did (played one of my fave songs, too). Right after the last song, but before the encore (the “false end”) BB said he was going to go meet up with his friends and try to get home. He was practically pushing me out of the way as he left.
I thought we’d at least be walking to the TTC station together, if not going most of the way home, since he lives nearby. But he just took off without even waiting to see if there was an encore, and he didn’t even say goodbye or anything!!!!!!!
I mean, all I expected was a simple “I had a great time, it was nice to meet you, thanks for the ticket”. I got nothing but the wind he created as he rushed by.
I’m feeling pretty dejected right now.
The ride home was tourture. It was all I could do to keep the tears back as I watched all the happy couples around me flirting and snuggling and just being couples. I sat alone, in a single seat, all by myself. Truly the story of my life: The Loner.
I just don’t understand why this happens to me. Why don’t any guys like me? I’ve been agonizing over this for years and the general consensus from all my friends is that I’m not really doing anything wrong. They tell me I’m actually quite beautiful and that they were attracted to me because of my personality. My friend J, who is married to B said that if he hadn’t been attached that he would have asked me to dinner after he met me.
So what’s the deal? They’re my friends… can I even trust what they say if all I get is shit results?
I’ve tried looking. I’ve tried making an effort to meet people. I’ve tried NOT looking (“when you finally stop looking, you will find love”) I’ve tried EVERYTHING. And still I am left alone. And a stupid guy wants to get away from me so bad that he doesn’t even finish the night with the common pleasantries.
I’m feeling pretty awful about myself right now. How would you feel if you were me?
I should have picked the girl instead.
18 responses to “Concert Recap”
HUGE *hugs* and numerous alcoholic drinks.
Aw hun. 🙁 This guy sounds like sort of a turd. I mean, he was pretty rude. I really don't think he was trying to get away from YOU, I think he was just being a typical ignorant male.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I agree with your friends. Although I've never met you in person, from what I see through your blog, you appear to be a fun loving, fantastic person who deserves nothing more than to be happy.
It's SO hard to be single when the majority of your friends are hooked up. Feeling like the 5th wheel sucks and I don't begrudge you for feeling dejected.
Emailing you…
Cheer up girl. 🙂
Please don't lose hope. I know in my heart that you are going to find the right, not-a-jerk, guy that you deserve. Come on, a lot of women go through this stage.
That guy was rude. Even if he doesn't like you, he shouldn't be treating you that way. I feel so bad for you because of what he did. 🙁
I can very much empathize with how you're feeling right now. At the moment, I have an excellent boyfriend, but I've been single for long stretches as well, and here's what I can chalk up finding boys to: good old fashioned luck. I know that this is an extremely unhelpful statement, but I really can't pin down any other explanation. Sure, you can put yourself in situations where you're likely to meet someone, sure you can do everything in your power to be your most awesome self, but the bottom line is, only luck will make the right person appear at the right time. If you get used to this idea (once you get past being pissed off that there's not much you can do) it's actually kind of freeing. You can just go about your life and not worry about it. Again, don't hole yourself up at home, but also don't go nuts trying to figure out what's "wrong" with yourself. There's nothing wrong. NOTHING. From what I can tell, you're a lovely, interesting person that probably won't be on the market much longer.
Appropriate that you went to see Tool because this guy seems like a tool 🙂 Bad joke, sorry. He does seem very rude. Who just takes off?
I'm sorry it didn't work out better BUT at least you got to see his true, douchey colours early on.
He sounds so not worth getting upset over. BUT, for over 4 years I was totally in your situation and feeling exactly the same way. It seemed like I couldn't get a date, and when I did, it turned out horribly. I know everyone say this, but hang in there…you WILL meet someone who realizes how awesome you are. I finally did, and if it could happen to me… :)As a popular self-help book says, love and dating shouldn't be hard. If it is with someone, he's not the right person.
Ginger…*hugs* What an a-hole. For real. He should have at least been polite about the whole thing.
I agree with Bonnie. I went through similar things until I was 23. Never had a serious boyfriend, dated a couple times and nothing really panned out (mostly they were all idiots). It wasn't fun. Then, I met Lloyd and the rest is history. I think it does happen for everyone that wants it to happen – it just takes a different amount of time for everyone….
Anyways, honey, if you want to chat more about it, feel free to e-mail me. 🙂
Have a good day!!
Aww, I'm sorry it didn't go as well as we hoped it would (I was definitely rooting for you!).
I'm not really sure what else I can say, other than don't blame yourself for this one night! You didn't do anything wrong, so why should you be the one that gets all the blame? Forget that….write it off as just one rude guy.
Sorry you had a bad experience. It seems as though his and your expectations were different. You were looking for friendship and maybe more. He wanted to see a concert. He was nice and sweet before because he wanted the ticket. That doesn't rule out, however, that it was quite rude to leave without a simple goodbye. Big hugs to you. Know that it's not your fault.
Hey, thanks so much to you all for your sweet words and support. It's nice to know that I have someone to "talk" to when I need it…
I'm mostly over the guy–it was just the rudeness and abrupt ending that really grinds my gears. It's easy to get over one jerk, especially since I hardly knew him.
What is not so easy to get over is the feeling that it leaves me with–that overall I am undesirable and completely unable to get a date, period.
I'm not looking for my Prince Charming, or "the one". I'm trying to be realistic. I would really just like to go on an honest-to-goodness date. It doesn't have to work out, I don't have to get a BF from it… but I've never been on a date. At all. It's highly embarrassing to admit that, but it's the truth. It's my dark, dirty secret. I'm totally flawed. I can't even get a date.
Yes, I'm having a pity party over here; but I feel like an anomaly. Everyone else in the world (who is not held back by their religion or culture) has been on a date, kissed or held hands by this point.
Me, a beautiful, vibrant young woman living in a 1st world country with no restrictions on her life is still single and alone, even though I don't want to be.
I just don't get it. I know life isn't fair… but this is just getting ridiculous.
My attached roommate felt so bad for me this morning she actually offered to go to a speed dating thing with me :S
I'm so sorry to hear it didn't work out as you would have hoped. Honestly the guy was a jerk and wasn't worth it.
I've been there, while I've been with my bf since I started blogging, I've been single the majority of my life (not counting when you are too young to really date). When it comes down to it men are immature.
Have you tried dating sites? Also, my advice is to try dating older men, they seem to be more stable and secure in what they want then one's our own age.
I'm so sorry I know saying cheer up won't actually make you cheer up, but at least know that many of us know exactly how you are feeling.
I agree with Rina. Dude is clearly a turd.
Other than that, though, I really suck at comfort. My brother is going through much the same thing. He's 23 and had one girlfriend ever (in high school). He's charming, funny, creative, handsome, and friendly. Don't know why the girls won't date him. I wish I had a better insight for you, darlin'.
(many hugs) <3
Boo, this guy sounded genuine at the start and now he just seems like a big jerk! I can't believe he just upped & left. Very rude & you deserve better.
I am not sure what I can say to make you feel better but know that I was in a similar position so I can relate. I met the current bf a little under 3 years ago but till then I had never been on one single date! It just happened one day and I think the same will happen for you.
Please don't let this jerk bring you down.
I definitely empathize because…I'm exactly in the same boat. No one ever seems to ask me out, and yet, no one can actually figure out WHY. I've tried it all – looking, not looking – the whole gamut in between. And yet apparently, I'm "so wonderful". Oh well, I hope it's true that thehre really is someone out there for everyone. I have to believe it 🙂
~ S
on the other end of the coin is the model-type girl that only goes out with d-bags that use her or are only concerned with her looks and their own image. those girls are just as lonely and isolated even though on the outside it may look like they are living the life with all that attention.
you should go on dating sites like PoF to go on "practice" dates (i.e. dates where you have no expectations) to get experience and release some of that date-less inertia…you know, build up your mojo. it works for me when i'm in a dating slump 😉
Ohhhh after reading that last anon comment, I'm thinking – why don't you try online dating? I have several friends that are now married from meeting online!!! Ohhh and if you do, you HAVE to spill all the dirty deets on your blog 🙂 🙂 🙂 Whaddaya think???
I have actually tried online dating with limited results…post is up now!
Anonymous #2, I know what you're talking about. Sometimes I feel as though I'm not very pretty at all, but in actuality I WAS a (smalltime commercial) model. A plus sized one, but one nonetheless.
I'm very afraid of being used for the reason you stated– When I'm in my full "war paint" I get lots of attention, but it's never the kind that is good for me or what I want. It's the douchebags out in force.
I am definitely trying to do the practice date thing. If only the guys had the balls to actually meet in person :S
Aww I'm so sorry! It sucks when guys do things like that. The least he could have done was be polite, even if it turns out you guys weren't right or whatever. Geez. But try not to get too down on yourself (I know it's hard, I seem to have similar problems with guys). It's hard not to get extra excited when you meet someone new, so it wasn't silly of you to be excited about the guy. But I guess the best you can do is not fret over it anymore. It's done, it's over, look forward.
I think if i was you, i would feel pretty much the same as well.
BUt then again ive been single for so long, that i dont really know what im missing anymore..lol