I’m back, and everything went well, I guess. I did my best to keep my expectations under control and tried to have a good time.
Actually I had a really good time, considering it was the first time I met or spoke to Band Boy (BB) outside of an email.
OMG. He is WAY hotter than the photo he sent me. Totally gorgeous, and to top it off he was a perfect gentleman the whole evening. He kept the conversation going, did a good job of paying attention to me as I tittered on and smiled enough to make sure I didn’t feel inadequate next to him. He even paid for my drink!
I decided to sell him the ticket, so we’ll be going to the concert in a couple of weeks. I also ascertained that he is single… at least I’m pretty sure. He lives with a roommate right now if that’s any indication.
Anyway, we got along pretty well, not too many awkward silences (he always picked it up when it needed picking up!) and it seems to me at least that we have a lot in common.
We like the same music, both enjoy/want to do out of the ordinary traveling, we’re both financially responsible, the list goes on. I think we’d make a great match.
Of course I don’t know if he feels the same way about me. Past the handshake I gave him upon meeting, there was no casual touching during the whole 2 hours. Sadness.
He is also a fairly buff dude. He’s a kinesiologist at a clinic, and used to be a personal trainer, so he’s very fit. Not one of those dudes that works out all the time and drinks protein shakes and nothing else, but health and sports definitely seem to be priorities for him.
When I meet people like these, I always wonder about their feelings towards me. When they look at me do they see me, or the fat person I am right now? I know I’m a fattie, but I’ve got toned arms and legs and I think I might even be pretty. Certainly the Nicest Comment dude thinks I’m lovely.
I just wonder though–does some part of him maybe think that I am disgusting for being so fat? I take care of myself in every other way and made sure my personality shined through. Even talked about my kung fu skillz and stuff to show that I am active. Can a muscle-bound hunk ever be interested in a chubster like me? Without wanting to change me too much?
He never gave me any indication that he felt like this of course, this is just the little voice inside of me piping up. He was a complete gentleman and seemed to enjoy my company well enough for the time that we were together. He walked me back to the subway, but there was neither a hug nor a handshake goodbye. I told him that if he wanted to hang out between now and the concert that I would be cool with that too. He just replied “Sure, give me a call” and then we parted. I don’t know how to read that, and I don’t know if I should!
I would really like to see him again but don’t know how to go about it. I suppose I could call him, but for what? I don’t want to tip my hand too soon. I didn’t make any overtones that I was interested in him, and he didn’t to me, either. It was a very polite evening. Damn he’s hot. And interesting. And well-spoken. And intelligent. And a pleasure to be with.
*sigh* I wish I knew how to flirt. I wonder if I had been more flirty and less myself if he would have responded to that? I know guys need some clues, too and I’m pretty sure I didn’t give anything away, sadly.
I’m happy to go to the concert with him but I can’t tell if there could be more there (even a friendship? That’s how I pitched it to begin with).
I don’t know. Any suggestions? Just ask if you want more details and I’ll provide them in the comments. I’m tired of being alone and want to figure out how to get someone to go on a date with me without it being tres awkward!!
13 responses to “Band Boy: The Post-Report”
Sounds like it went really well!
When is the show again?
I recognise the little voice thing and you have to believe it's only being heard in your head. Give him the benefit of the doubt 🙂
I loved the Joy Nash rants posting that Asian Pear had up a couple of weeks ago. One of them relates to the voice and dating/men.
I am bad at flirting too..but I have heard that men need it to be blatantly obvious. *shrugs*
I think depending on when the concert is should depend on if you see him before the show.
Glad it went really well and was comfortable though!!! That'll make the show fun and you can parlay that into a few other events involving similar interests! 🙂
I'm so bad at reading guys, but I will say one thing. He's either an asshole or single. If my boyfriend was meeting a girl out like that, I would be, um, very mad! So, I'd say all signs point to single!! If not, I bet he's gonna have a very mad GF if she finds out. He he.
Also, if you guys have an amazing chemistry after hanging out a couple times – he won't care about your weight. Just sayin'!
Good luck! 🙂
The show is 2 weeks from now…
I don't know if I have the balls to call him up before the show to hang out, but I figured that if all went well during the concert maybe I'd call him after?
I was thinking something like "Hey, I had a really great time with you at the concert and I think we have a lot in common. I also think you're pretty handsome and I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime?"
I don't know. How does that sound for a phone call? Haha I totally have to script things…
I have no idea how to flirt so this is all I could come up with!
I wouldn't call him before the show. See how it goes the night of the concert. If he likes you after that, he'll call! Or, who knows–maybe he'll call before then!
I also wouldn't call after the show – I'd ask him to do something again during the show!
I don't know if I would say he is handsome – for me, that would just come out sounding awkward. But you could say, hey let's grab [drink / dinner / coffee, etc] once the show ends.
Or, you could always call and ask about when you plan to meet up in advance of the show (since you still need to meet to actually sell the ticket)…
Hey, you have a Second Chance to blow it out of the park 🙂
You're going to a concert with him!
AS for tips on flirting… I .. don't think about flirting. I .. guess I just do it, but BF said that I'm just naturally friendly, so it's easy to mis-read me and imagine signals are blowing out of my ears.
And I agree with Emma. ask to grab a drink later with him. 🙂
Oh and as for your weight, I don't think guys care that much to be honest.
Case in point: BF met me, and thought I was TOO thin and wasn't VERY interested in me at first (I wasn't anorexic, but I was just my normal self which is naturally slender)
And he proceeded to make me put on 20 pounds by feeding me to make me grow a round belly & have a softer body.
There ya go. Sometimes a girl can be too skinny and it works against her.
Wow that's exciting news! 🙂
I am such an awkward flirt myself — I just lucked out on my BF. One thing you can try is to reach out and touch him a few times (like on his arms). Of course this would work well if you already are touchy-feely. I find that I was pretty bad at this LOL. But for what it's worth!
And don't think about things too much. Just go with it! Hope you have a great time!
I agree with not mentioning the handsome part, but I think you have to call him just before the concert (obviously) to make sure of the plans AND I agree that you need to set up another meeting at the show.
Ie. "That was fun! We really should do it again! How do you feel about Thai/Greek/Street Meat/ and a *insert boy activity here*?
Hi Ginger,
I never posted out before, but I just wanted to wish you luck with your boy situation! I like how you write and I think it shows that you have a really great personality! That is all you need for flirting – knowing you have something great.
So relax! Have confidence in your character (for what it's worth, I think it shines) and smile lots. Everybody loves a girl who is happy with herself =)
Aww, I think I have the best readers in the world! You guys are awesome!
Thank you so much for weighing in on this… I'm too embarrassed to talk to my RL friends about a lot of this stuff so it really means a lot to me when you reach out like this.
Ok, so back to the matter at hand.
Handsome comment is out, flirting & casual touch is in. I'll make an effort to flirt a little at the concert with him, and maybe ask him out at the end of it? I'm not sure how awkward that's going to be.
He's already got the ticket and is meeting up with some friends who are also going to the concert beforehand, so that could mess things up. We'll be meeting somewhere on the concert grounds or just at our seats if we can't find each other.
I'm not sure if we would be able to do something (drinks, street meat etc.) afterwards because of the friends thing and he told me he has to get up early for work in the morning (so do I!) but I guess I can give it a shot if the timing seems right. Right?
Oh… Mel, what kind of boy activity should I suggest? Is it to do right away or at a later date? I don't want to do sports with this guy, but what else is there to do? We already had a beer on a patio!
Don't do anything with him afterward..unless he asks, but do set up the next thing if you can (with the "that was great..etc")
hahaha..well, that'll be the hard part because you'll have to find out what he likes (or is good at and can show you).
*urgh..re: sports. I hear ya..unless it's mini golf and bevvies!*
I'm the most awkward thing in the world when it comes to intentional flirting, so all I can do is wish you lots of fun at the concert, and for him to be brave enough to make the first gesture indicating he likes you. Nice guys tend to be shyer, I think, so I'm hoping he's one of them. 🙂